Wednesday, July 30, 2008

What is a Relationship?

“It takes 3 seconds to fall in love. It takes 3 decades to get along.” These are the first TWO lines of a TV ad that got stucked in my mind. The first statement seems true and fascinating. The second seems true but very frustrating. Would it be better to fall in love in 3 seconds and get along, say, in 3 weeks and live happy for the rest of your life? Can you imagine after 30 long years of living together the partners or spouses have not yet come to terms? Surprising yet this happens—not to some but to numerous relationships. In a lot of cases this period is too much, too long. Sometime in between, the relationship fails and is somehow put to an end. For others who have the capacity, they elevate their cases in court for the annulment of marriage so both parties can go on with their lives separately.

The Americans cannot outsmart the Pinoys. If they have “irreconcilable differences” as ground for divorce we have “psychological incapacity”—unbelievably the most common reason used by local courts in annulling marriages. For me, such excuse for an annulment is ridiculous in the superlative degree. Individuals who plea “psychological incapacity” in exchange of marital freedom should then be required to confine themselves to a mental asylum!

To begin with, a person with a sound mental condition possesses a deep comprehension of what s/he just stepped into, in this case it is relationship and marriage. Thus the pertinent question, “What is a relationship?” It is simply a voluntary agreement between two parties to be involved with each other with the intention of starting a family of their own in the future. Probably the next most logical question to ask now is, “What is marriage?” It is simply taking a vow (of course, with your own free will) to spend the rest of your life with the person you love. This, however, requires affixing your signature on a legal document called marriage contract witnessed by your ninongs and ninangs. And does it end here? Of course not! This is only the beginning—the start of an intricate journey to family hood, you know—raising children—that kind of stuff.

Once I brought up to my family the idea of having the marriage contract renewable every year. Katulad ba noong contract sa pag-upa ng apartment. They would not want to agree with me. I told them that this would be to the benefit of both spouses. If the relationship is not really working and all efforts to straighten things out have been exhausted then all you have to do is wait for the expiration of the contract and be free. How do we deal with a husband whose favorite past time is bringing out the pugilist in him (a la Manny Pacquiao) and inflicting physical injuries complemented by verbal abuses on his wife? How about the wife who spends much of her time playing mahjong in her amiga’s house and virtually abandoning her responsibilities as a wife and as a mother to her children? Then there is also the issue of infidelity. The spouse can get out of the situation without the hustle of filing for legal separation or annulment. So much for the “dark side” of a relationship for this might give a second thought to people out there who have immediate plans of settling down.

Let us venture into the world of a successful relationship. I have no knowledge of any existing formula for this nor have I read one. It is at best, I suppose, to observe, play by ear, and apply a lot of common sense. Sometimes it is not always intelligence that plays a vital role in our lives. Sometimes common sense is more than just enough. Life is taking a lot of chances. It is, I might say, a gamble. We live in a world where taking chances becomes an integral part of our lives. From the moment we were brought forth into this world to the day we find ourselves in our final resting place, we gamble—we take chances. True enough, when we marry we take a lot of chances--we take a lot of risks. The least we can do, however, is to up the chances of its success.

When we talk of love it should be an unconditional love. It is expecting the unexpected. Your partner will only start to reveal his/her true color the day after your marriage. You take your partner who s/he is and what s/he is. It is akin to a product ad with the supporting line “where is, as is.” You cannot expect your partner to morph into someone you wanted him/her to be. This would mean a disaster. Give some; take some, after all marriage should be symbiotic. Give your full respect and you will earn yours. Trust your partner because the stability of the marriage depends largely on trust. Practice altruism—how I wish altruism is like a common cold that could infect each and every one of us then maybe we can have a “clean” government run by “clean” public officials. Maintain an open line (two-way as in two-way radio) of communications. If you’re wrong admit it, then make amends. Do not hesitate to forgive. As they always say, if God can forgive why can’t we? Give the best of everything to your children. You owe it to them. Remember, they were not given the opportunity to choose their parents.

Now, imagine this—you are old and gray walking on three (not two feet), one hand holding a cane and the other squeezing the hand of your long time partner. You stroll on the green grasses in the park approaching the famous “Nothing Hill” bench and then you both take your seats and watch the golden sun setting in the bay. In an instant came all your children and their husbands and wives and all their children. All your children, now all accomplished, staring at both of you—wishing they were all like you!

Would that not be a spectacular sight to see?


----------------------------
Note: I wrote this article in 2005 and sent it to the Phil. Daily Inquirer for their “High Blood” column and this was the response I got:


“sir wilfrido, thank you for taking the time to write an article for the inquirer. but sir, the high blood section of the inquirer only caters to those in their 60s (onwards). the editors are still trying to come up with a column for those below 60. it's been a long-standing rule sir and we cannot make any exception. --tin-tin ang”

I was only 54 years old then.

Olympic Notes

Muhammad Ali



Born Cassius Clay on January 17, 1942 Muhammad Ali rose to fame in the world of boxing. He was a 3-time world heavyweight champion and the greatest of all time. Ali’s famous one liner was “I am the greatest…I said that even before I knew I was.” At age 18 the young Ali could have missed the Rome Summer Olympics in 1960 if not for the continuous prodding of his handler. He was afraid to ride an airplane. Scared to death, he had to put on a parachute pack until the plane landed. He won a gold medal in the light-heavyweight division.


Mark Spitz

Mark Spitz was 11-time Olympic Medalist. He won 7 gold medals in a single Olympics (1972 Munich Olympics swimming events) a feat still unequalled by any other athlete. He set 26 world and 35 U.S. records. Born on February 10, 1950 Mark started swimming at 2 years old.





Tuesday, July 29, 2008

State of the Nation Address (SONA)

Ginanap kahapon sa Batasang Pambansa ang ika-8 State of the Nation Address (SONA) ni Pangulong Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo na tumagal ng isang oras. Inihayag niya sa Kamara at sa sambayanang Pilipino ang mga nagawa ng kanyang pamahalaan nitong nakaraang taon at ang mga balak pang gawin sa nalalabi pa niyang dalawang taon sa panunungkulan. Nakakataba ng pusong marinig na mahal niya ang mamamayang Pilipino lalo na ang mga mahihirap. Nagmistula siyang isang butihing ina sa pag-ako ng responsibilidad sa kanyang nasasakupan. Ang talumpati niya ay nasisingitan ng panaka-nakang palakpakan mula sa mga dumalo sa plenary hall. Ang pinakamalakas na palakpakan ay nuong sabihin niya na ang texting ay way of life na ng mga Pinoy at nakumbinsi niya ang telecommunications networks na ibaba sa 50 sentimo ang bawa’t text (nguni’t ayon naman sa mga networks ang promo nila ay tatagal lang hanggang Oktubre 2008). May mga tao pang tinawag ang Pangulo mula sa galeriya na magpapatunay na sila’y nakinabang o umasenso dahil sa mga programa ng administrasyon. Binigyang diin ni Pangulong Arroyo ang kahalagahan ng VAT dahil ito ang nagiging pantustos sa mga gastusin ng gobyerno. Ipinangako rin niya na tuloy ang laban sa korupsyon sa lahat ng sangay ng pamahalaan. Marami siyang tinalakay sa mahaba niyang isang oras na pagsasalita pero dalawang paksa lamang ang nais kong bigyan ng malaking pansin. Ang una rito ay ang VAT. Tila baga wala ng pamamaraan para makalikom ng salapi upang ipangtustos sa mga gastusin ng pamahalaan kundi ang pagpataw ng sari-saring buwis. Ano na ang kinahinatnan ng ating mga likas yaman na iniluluwas sa ibang bansa? Hindi ba sapat ang kikitain dito upang malimitahan ang iba’t ibang uri ng buwis? Hindi nga dahil mas malaki pa ang ipinapasok na dolyar sa bansa ng mga Pilipinong naghahanapbuhay sa ibang bansa. Salamat sa mga OFWs at kahit papaano ay medyo naiangat nila ang kabuhayan ng marami-rami ring pamilyang Pilipino. At least nakasisiguro na sila ng pagkain sa mesa tatlong ulit sa isang araw. Nguni’t matindi naman ang kapalit ng mawalay sa isang pamilya at ito’y nangangailangan ng mabigat na sakripisyo. Ang pangalawa ay ang pagsugpo o paglaban sa korupsyon. Sa aking palagay ay wala ring kahahantungan ito hangga’t selective ang pagparusa sa mga naaakusahan. Minsa nga’y naiisip ko na i-legalize na ang korupsyon. Magtalaga ng maximum na 10% na komisyon sa lahat ng proyekto ng gobyerno na paghahatian ng lahat mula sa dyanitor hanggang hepe ng ahensya—sa ganitong paraan, everybody happy di ba? Talamak talaga ang korupsyon. Laking gulat ko nga ng mapanoon ko sa telebisyon ang isang dokumentaryo tungkol sa pangingidnap ng bandidong abu sayaf kasama ang isang mag-asawang Amerikano. Nagbigay ng ransom money na kapalit sana ng paglaya ng mag-asawa nguni’t sa kasawiang palad ang halagang nakarating sa abu sayaf ay bawas na at naibulsa ng mga taong gobyerno. Kahiya-hiya talaga ito isipin pa natin na naipalabas din ito sa buong mundo.

Waring hindi ko narinig na tinalakay ni Pangulong Arroyo ang situwasyon sa Mindanao o baka nawaglit lang sa aking pandinig dahil sa pagpunta ko sa banyo dahil sa haba ng kanyang talumpati ay di ko na talaga napigilan ang pag-weewee. Matagal na matagal na issue na itong kapayapaan sa Mindanao nguni’t tila wala pa ring malinaw na solusyon. Ang akin lang ipinagtataka ay kung bakit mayroong ibang bansa tulad ng Singapore na napapanatili ang mapayapang pamumuhay kahit na ang mga mamamayan ay binubuo ng iba’t ibang uri ng ethnic groups at iba't ibang pananampalataya.

Taun-taon na lang ay maglalahad ang Pangulong nakaupo ng kanyang report card. Nguni’t sa mga nakalipas na taon hanggang sa ngayon ay patuloy pa rin ang paglangoy ng mamamayang Pilipino kontra sa malupit na agos ng pamumuhay. Umaasang sa malapit na panahon ay makakamit niya ang hinahangad na kasariwaan sa buhay. Para sa akin, di ko pa rin makita kahit na sa susunod pang 50 taon ang pagdating ng tunay na pagbabago. Hangga’t hindi pa nagsusulputan sa bansang ito ang nakararaming maglilingkod sa bayan na isasaisang tabi ang pansariling kapakananan at isasakatuparan ang nararapat na gampanan ay malayong makamit natin ang ating pinapangarap. Samantala, walang pagbabago at tulad ng dati magtitiis pa rin si Juan dela Cruz. Good luck na lang sa ating lahat!

Monday, July 28, 2008

NICHI's First Anniversary

July 24 was the longest day of the year I supposed or that’s what I wanted it to be. It was a year since our Nichi left us for a journey to an everlasting life. The day before, I went to the ossuary located within the compound of the Immaculate Conception Cathedral which is walking distance from our place to “borrow” Nichi’s urn and bring it home. July 24 was a special day and former classmates and best friends will be coming over and I wanted him to be with them. Nichi always enjoyed being with his friends and they too enjoyed his company. During the time that Nichi was still around the same group frequented our house. They worked as a team doing assigned projects and home works or just played around.

Leng and Joan, Ate Tye’s berks (friends) arrived in the morning. Leng was on vacation from work in the Middle East. Leng and Joan are some of Ate Tye’s friends/UPLB classmates who have been part of Nichi’s life. Ate Win’s friend and classmate in college Anna dropped by early in the evening. Anna has also been part of the family and very fond of Nichi and Kuya Migs giving them gifts on Christmas day. Kuya Jowin’s friends also came.



Nichi’s classmates arrived in the afternoon after dismissal from their classes. The group is now in their junior high. They chat and joke with each other—the usual thing they do whenever they are in our house. They browsed Nichi’s new photo album prepared by Kate and viewed Nichi’s video clips. It gave me the feeling that Nichi was among them or watching on the side or hovering above them. The group feasted on spaghetti, macaroni salad, fried lumpia and kare-kare which were prepared by Mommy earlier in the day. It was late in the evening when the group said goodbye and thanked us for giving them the opportunity to be with us on this special day.


On occasions such as this, Nichi will always say, “Ate Win, I wish you were here!”

On occasions such as this, we all say, “NICHI, we all wish you were here!”

Sunday, July 27, 2008

SURVIVOR - TV Reality Show

I was browsing the front page of this Sunday edition of the Philippine Daily Inquirer when this particular news item caught my attention. It is about Caramoan Peninsula in Camarines Sur in Luzon. The article described it as “powdery white sand, crystal blue waters, lush vegetation, rock formations, marine life and fabulous sunsets.” This is not a surprise to me knowing that the Philippines has a lot of such beautiful places to boast of. However, I was surprised to learn that the “Koh Lanta Caramoan,” the French edition of the popular TV reality show “Survivor,” was shot entirely in Caramoan. The show expects about 10 million viewers from French-speaking countries across Europe and in Canada which is very good for Philippine tourism. I also learned that the same show (Survivor France) was shot in Palawan last year.

I am just wondering why our local version of this TV reality show, the “Survivor Philippines,” has to shoot its episodes in Talohwow bay, Tarutao National Park, Thailand. I find it rather weird that in spite of the many interesting sites that would best suit the requirements of the show which can be easily found here “Survivor Philippines” chose Thailand instead. Hence, our thanks goes to the “Survivor France” for showing the world how beautiful the Philippines is! Please check out this site:

Sunday, July 20, 2008

When 5 Becomes Three

Life is a cycle, so they say and I agree. It is a natural process to preserve and insure continuity of the species. People find mate and procreate and raise their children. In compliance with this natural process I found a mate and we have five children—Windale, Tyrene, Jowin, Migs and Nichi. Five “trouble-free” children are what we have. We were very fortunate these five religiously concentrated on their studies. Drug use and hanging out with friends are not in their vocabulary. And they all grew up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .From top to bottom Jowin, Tyrene, Windale, Migs and Nichi

It was now time for Ate Win to find her mate and so she did to a person she knew since their freshman year in college. The 5 became four. We were all very happy for her fully knowing that sooner or later it will come as part of the natural process.

At Ate Win's wedding

Then it was Nichi’s time to go. No, Nichi did not find his mate. He found his destiny! Nichi, our youngest, succumbed to a dreadful disease he battled for more than 6 years. He was just a 13-year old kid. Before we were discharged from the hospital in September 2006 the attending physician informed me that Nichi’s case is what they term as end stage. This meant that our son had only days or weeks or months to live. I firmly refused to accept this fact. I just thought it was not right. The parent has to go first—it should be first in, first out sort of thing. We brought Nichi home very very weak. He cannot sit by himself from a lying position let alone stand on his two feet. His young body was ravaged by continuous infusion of fourth generation antibiotics and chemotherapy against the stubborn cancer cells in his system. I still refused to call it a defeat. I can see in my son’s eyes his determination to live, his desire to be with his siblings whose company he was very comfortable with. There is a promising future ahead of him. Here is a kid who is jolly, kind, entertaining, helpful and intelligent. He has great ambition and it would be unfair to deprive him of this. In one and a half month Nichi was up and about—he was back to his usual self. In December Ate had her wedding. We were all there to witness the event. Nichi was with the wedding entourage. He substituted as host for the evening reception. He played with his brothers and sisters. But happiness was short lived. The year 2007 proved not kind to Nichi. He lost his left eyesight in January. The following month the leukemia cells in his body had multiplied at a rapid rate. But he still showed no sign of giving up. It took 5 more months to force this young kid to retire on his bed. The stubborn leukemia cells were all over his nervous system. One night I told him he had bravely fought his battle but it was now time for him to rest. It was time to be with Papa Jesus. It was time to leave the pain, the misery, and the sacrifices behind. It was time to live a beautiful afterlife. He knew how much we so loved him. He knew how difficult for us to let go of him but we had to—to set him free. With a smile on his face he obliged. He nodded, took his last breath and then he was gone. It was the evening of July 24, 2007.

Life is a cycle. It is a natural process to preserve and insure continuity of the species. It is also the natural process of living and dying.

In hindsight I realized that God has been very good to us. He gave us 10 more months for Nichi to be with us. More importantly, He allowed Nichi to be at his Ate Win’s wedding the special event he had been looking forward to. He gave us a lot of people to be part of Nichi’s life. Friends, relatives, officemates, friends of friends of friends, people who we don’t even knew or met in person supported Nichi and our family.

This Thursday, July 24, 2008 it will be a year since Nichi left this world. Joseph Nichole “Nichi” Delgado, our angel in heaven, is praying for all of us.

Nichi's 13th birthday




Nichi winning spiderman drawing contest

TO SEE MORE OF NICHI'S PICTURES PLEASE CLICK THIS SITE:

http://battik.multiply.com/photos/album/25/Nichis_Album_by_Kate

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Man and Technology





Truly man has gone a long way--from creating his own implementing tools (however crude they were) to aid him in his daily activities to his 21st century high technology inventions. Over the years man’s brain has been undergoing tremendous development. Its creativeness seems endless and it does not tire in finding ways to make his life on earth convenient. As they say, inventions and/or discoveries are products of necessity. Well true enough we saw during the latter part of the 19th century devices such as telegraph, telephone and radio all of which have been very useful in our everyday life. The following years gave us more than what we asked for.

Wright Brothers

The Wright Brothers flew the first airplane which later led to commercial aviation. Henry Ford revolutionized car manufacturing by mass production thru the introduction of the assembly line which resulted to lower price enabling more people to own a car. Surprisingly, in ancient China (ca. 210BC) the Chinese mass produced the arrows for their bows also in an assembly line. The television set found its place in the living room of homes. In 1945 the computer was successfully assembled although it occupied the whole first floor of the building where it was housed. By 1961 man had made his first orbital flight and during this time the internet was also being developed. Several years later man was on the moon conducting various experiments. The first generation of mobile phones was introduced in 1983 followed by the creation of the World Wide Web (www) in 1989. Of course, this does not end here and there are many more—the shuttle space program which is used primarily to deploy space cargo (communication satellite), human genetic engineering (DNA), laser guided missiles, smart bombs, global positioning system (GPS), etc.


LCD TV


So what can we expect from the 21st century? Third generation mobile phones? Engineering feats such as buildings taller than Petronas Towers? First man on mars?
Lo and behold we are about to face the biggest surprise of our life

“Imagine a medical device that travels through the human body to seek out and destroy small clusters of cancerous cells before they can spread. Or a box no larger than a sugar cube that contains the entire contents of the Library of Congress. Or materials much lighter than steel that possess ten times as much strength.” — U.S. National Science Foundation





parallel shaft speed
reducer gear




and this is what is called NANOTECHNOLOGY. But what is Nanotechnology? “Nanotechnology is the engineering of functional systems at the molecular scale. This covers both current work and concepts that are more advanced. In its original sense, 'nanotechnology' refers to the projected ability to construct items from the bottom up, using techniques and tools being developed today to make complete, high performance products.”
Pretty cool eh! Imagine building machines on the scale of molecules—computers, laptops, cell phones. This technology promises “greatly improved efficiency in almost all facet of life.” “The power of nanotechnology can be encapsulated in an apparently simple device called a personal nanofactory that may sit on your countertop or desktop. Packed with miniature chemical processors, computing, and robotics, it will produce a wide-range of items quickly, cleanly, and inexpensively, building products directly from blueprints. Through nanotechnology we will be able to produce many high quality products at very low cost. It will also allow making new nanofactories at the same low cost and at the same rapid speed—factories that can build factories—rapidly, cheaply and cleanly. The means of production will be able to reproduce exponentially, so in just a few weeks a few nanofactories conceivably could become billions. It is a revolutionary, transformative, powerful, and potentially very dangerous—or beneficial—technology. How soon will all this come about? Conservative estimates usually say 20 to 30 years from now, or even much later than that. However, CRN (Center for Responsible Nanotechnology) is concerned that it may occur sooner, quite possibly within the next decade. This is because of the rapid progress being made in enabling technologies, such as optics, nanolithography, mechanochemistry and 3D prototyping. If it does arrive that soon, we may not be adequately prepared, and the consequences could be severe.”


the nanofactory


Scary? He, he, we’ll just have to wait and see.




(Nanotechnology source: http://www.crnano.org/whatis.htm)

The Writer - Master of the Universe

Once a friend asked me, “If you die and live again what would you like to be.” I was not able to answer right away. I thought this guy wants me dead! He asked the same question but this time with an increased volume in his voice. I said I want to become a writer and because it’s just an “if”, I might as well be a famous writer. “Why is that so?” was his follow up question. Because a writer is more powerful than the heads of all the superpowers combined! He can alter anybody’s fate—he can make the poor become rich. He can transform the ugly into beauty. He has a solution to every problem. He can make us laugh. He, too, can make us cry. He can make us fall from our seat from excitement or bury our head on a pillow in fear. He can make us travel in time. A writer tells stories and these he unselfishly shares with others and the product of his imagination sometimes finds realization.

Now it’s my turn to ask a question. Do you not want to be a writer?